How Not to Write a Sales Letter (with assistance from cuddly Ken Bates)
Despite telesales, despite search engine marketing, and despite social media, direct sales letters are still one of the most important and effective weapons in any marketer's arsenal. Done right, a great sales letter can deliver huge returns on a fairly small investment.
An Open Letter to Google on the Subject of Social Search
Dear Google,
It's me, Andrew. I know that we haven't always seen eye-to-eye, especially when it comes to your muppet fixation and your inexplicable need to give me yet more buttons to click, but I really need to tell you something.
5 Apocalyptically Bad Topics I Don’t Want to See in 2012
2012 is finally here. The year of the London Olympics, the Golden Jubilee and, most concerningly, the end of the world. If the misinterpreted non-prophesies of a dead Mesoamerican civilisation are to be believed (they're not), then the world will end in some horrible manner on December 21 2012 (it won't).
Do You Know What’s The Scariest Thing About Halloween?
Apparently, the week surrounding October 31st is the scariest time of the year. But it's not because of trick or treaters. No, it's because of hellishly bad copy.
So read on and find our Bestiary of Halloween Copy Horrors. If you dare...
An SEO Copywriter Walks Into a Pub…
An SEO copywriter walks into a pub, bar, public house, venue, beer, lager, wine, spirits, cocktails, pub food, gastropub, happy hour...
And how we laugh. Still. Every time this tired old joke wheezes its way around Twitter, we all drop to the ground, rolling about in paroxyms of laughter, attempting to hold in our ruptured and...
You’re Not a Ninja, You’re a Fool
Names and titles are important. When you've got a split-second to make an impression, you need to explain clearly and concisely just what it is that you can do for a client.
Is Social Media Entering the Era of Zero Tolerance?
How much of your time is spent on social networking sites? With multiple networks to maintain, have you really got time to waste on frivolous or low-quality user accounts?
Lies, Damned Lies and Internet Forum Threads – Slandering Your Way To Business Success
As any prospective online guru knows, marketing your company can be hard work. You need to create a convincing product, work out your USPs, provide a good service to clients and work tirelessly to spread the word far and wide.
Well screw that.
This Is What We Know
Ever get the feeling that the brilliant, insightful advice you've just received might not be as groundbreaking as you think?
I Don’t Care What Colour Your Hat Is, Ignoring Content Is No Laughing Matter
According to Kris, White Hat SEO is a joke, and good content is a rip-off. Well, sorry Kris. I'm not laughing.
No, I’m Not Going to Read Your Blog
You're desperate for me to read your blog. I can tell.
But guess what? You may as well stop wasting my time and yours, because it'll be a cold day in hell before I read your blog post.
Grubbing Peons of Twitter, Bow Down to Your #TwitRelief Masters!
Comic Relief is a good cause. But has their ill-judged #twitrelief campaign turned the tide of public opinion against them?
Forgoing the usual bath of beans, the Comic Relief organisers have found a new way for the great and the good to demean themselves for charity. By talking to dirty, pointless scrubbers like you.
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