Consider this the subtle answer...

You’re desperate for me to read your blog. I can tell.

You’ve Tweeted the link, submitted it to sharing sites and implored me to click your Facebook like button.

But guess what? You may as well stop wasting my time and yours, because it’ll be a cold day in hell before I read your blog post.

Why I’m Not Going To Waste My Time Reading Your Blog

Now don’t get me wrong. I might well click that link (once). I might even skim your subheaders and weigh up my options before I click the back button and never return. But I’m not going to read what you’ve written.

And because you’ve put your heart and soul into writing that post, I’m going to tell you why.

Because you haven’t put your heart and soul into your blog post

I can tell when you’re phoning it in. Because your lethargic post has the fingerprints of a writer who’d rather be down the pub all over it. You’ve not gone into any depth, you’ve just posted a bullet point list, and you’ve not even found thirty seconds to source a decent picture.

I’m frankly insulted that you think I’d even consider reading something you couldn’t be mithered writing.

I don’t like the look of your URL

I’ll forgive a poor pun in the name of making your title memorable, but there are a few things that put me right off reading your blog.

Things like this:

  • myboringblog.livejournal.com
  • youllneverreadthis.tumblr.com
  • cantbemitheredwithwordpress.blogger.com

If you’re not writing angsty fan fiction or painfully unfunny asides and you don’t work for Google, you’ve got no business writing on LiveJournal, Tumblr or Blogger.

If you want to be read, you need to be taken seriously. And that means either self hosting, or at the (very least) using a WordPress blog.

You’re not interested in my feedback

I’m talking to you again Blogger blogger. If you’re not interested in what I have to say, I’m not interested in what you have to say.

So if you’re making me sign up, log in or jump through your (or Google’s) hoops to leave a comment, I’m not going to bother reading your post.

And if you’re arrogant enough to have disabled comments entirely, well then, you and I are just never going to get along.

You’ve thrown a pop-up at me

Jack-in-the-Box

This stops being cute

I’m not four years old.

Things popping up at me no longer elicit a gasp of wonder and excitement. They provoke groans and grumbles. If I have to close a popup before I get to your content, I’m not going to bother.

If I have to close a popup that springs into action 15 seconds after I’ve started reading your post, I’m going to hurl my monitor across the room and send you a bill.

People really do feel that strongly about popups. So if you want us to read, think long and hard before you start winding the handle on that Jack-in-the-Box.

So, how can you get me to read your blog?

It’s simple really.

Be magnificent. Have faith in your own abilities and get a proper domain to give yourself some authority. Then push yourself as a writer. Don’t take the easy way out with paper thin posts, and produce some outstanding content.

Then open yourself up to plaudits and critics alike with a free and open comment policy. You’ll attract the odd nutter, but the people that enjoy and value your work will tell you so, and it’ll spur you on.

Finally, trust in your ability to sell yourself as a writer. You don’t need desperate popups. Solid sales copy and calls to action will get your ebook, feed or newsletter noticed. And if you don’t believe me now, sign up to my RSS feed or follow Unmemorable Title on Facebook and I’ll prove it to you.

And don’t forget to leave me a comment below, because I might just read your blog post after all.

 

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