Photo by Tom T

Photo by Tom T

Imagine my delight this morning when I received an enquiry from UT’s contact form. Had someone finally decided to offer me huge amounts of money to release their Nigerian Uncle’s estate via my bank account?

Alas, no. It was someone asking if they could possibly put a guest article on Unmemorable Title. Not an uncommon practise in the blogosphere, so I happily opened up their request and sat down to mull it over.

Not a chance. The email I received read like an idiot’s guide of how not to request a guest slot.

 

The Internet Idiot’s Guide to Guest Post Requests

Here’s what Mr. Rotaru – an online marketing expert – has to teach you about requesting a guest spot on a blog.

Don’t be Personal!

Remember, always start your request as generically as possible. Don’t even allude to the blogger’s gender, let alone name. They might have an about us page, posts carrying an author name, and a personal copyright in the footer, but ignore all that. Put in zero effort. Start thusly:

Dear Sir / Madam,

Don’t Give Meaningful Information!

You don’t want to make this easier for the blogger. Don’t give them a link to your site. Your name and company name is fine – just enough to give them something to Google. You know, so they can take ten minutes out of their day to find out who you are. Don’t explain what you’re selling either. Everyone knows boxing legend George Foreman of George Forman Grills is selling grills – so it’s safe to assume that Alexandru Rotaru from Lingo24 is selling… Well. Something.

Don’t Outline Your Article!

Then they’d just steal it! Say you’ll outline the article, then don’t bother and skip straight to the next bit.

Massage Your Ego!

Remember, you’re the most important person in this conversation. Explain why. And don’t summarise. Nothing shorter than a 400 word essay on your company history will do. Save space in your email by not mentioning the site you’re pitching. The blogger doesn’t need to know why your company and their blog are a good fit.

Don’t Bother With Benefits!

This is the most important part. You want to piggyback on someone else’s reputation, traffic and established reader base – the benefits to you are obvious. But if you offer something in return – like a nice backlink, chippy tea or crisp ten pound note – you’ll seem weak and desperate.

Don’t Leave Contact Details!

You don’t want this person to be your friend, just to do you a favour. Don’t put a contact email address or telephone number in your email. It just doesn’t look professional. I mean, people will just hit “Reply” and beg for your innovative and exciting content, right?

So there you have it. Follow Alexandru Rotaru’s indispensible Idiot’s Guide, and you too will find that nobody on Earth wants to let you put a guest article on their blog.

If you’re honestly interested in putting a guest article on Unmemorable Title, get in touch. I will consider any and all genuine and thoughtful requests.


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