Oh hi Google Instant!

Oh hi Google Instant!

It’s been a little over 24 hours, and Google Instant fear has swept the globe like a biblical plague. Far from just showing you results without you needing to hit search, this diabolical system has a 100% fatality rate for pretty much anything you care to mention.

Are you at risk from this destroyer of worlds? Read on to find out…

The Return Key

Think about it. Now that Google starts showing you results before you hit that return key, it’s pretty much obsolete. The poor, redundant key will wither and die, leaving a blank space between the backspace and shift keys.

I’m Feeling Lucky

Google’s little quirk is now a thing of the past. “I’m Feeling Lucky” was so important  to Google, that the first Tweet from their official account was “I’m feeling lucky” in binary. Now that Google Instant is here, Luck is gone. Doomed. Don’t buy any lottery tickets.

The “French Military Victories” and “Chuck Norris” jokes

No Lucky button means no lame jokes. Dozens of Google Easter Egg posts rendered completely obsolete. Death surely follows in Google Instant’s wake.

Looking up swear words (tee hee)

Since Samuel Johnson finished his life’s work, anyone in possession of anything allowing them to look up dirty words will look up dirty words. Alas, Google Instant has killed off this practise with its heavy handed safe search censor. Try it. Type Arse. You’ll see more football fixtures than pert bottoms. Gee, thanks Google Instant.

English Spellings

Search Engine Optimi… You just know that Instant’s going to put a Z in for you. Centuries of linguistic diversity destroyed with a careless sweep of a Google bureaucrat’s pen. Next thing you know, Google Instant will come to your house on a Sunday, kick your Yorkshire Puddings out of the window and cover your table in Grits. Did we lose a war?

Paranoid Bloggers

We can but wish, eh? Alas, this particular breed seems immune to Google Instant, and will spend the forseeable future hurling posts into the ether claiming that Google Instant has killed SEO! And AdWords! And stolen my bike!

For a serious post on Google Instant, take a look at Andy’s post on the FirstFound Blog.

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