This could be you, if you don't follow my Twitter advice

Have you checked Qwitter recently? If you haven’t, you’ll probably be surprised to learn that people just don’t like following you on Twitter. Your followers are dropping like flies, and it shows no signs of stopping.

Why?

Because you’re hell-bent on irritating, upsetting and just plain boring your followers. You keep making the same mistakes, over and over again, and it’s going to end in disaster.

You’re putting yourself on the fast track to being unfollowed.

Five Ways to Fast-Track Yourself onto My Unfollow List

I like to think that I’m a fair man. So I’ll put up with lots from you on Twitter. Swearing, spoiling the ending of Doctor Who and asking celebrities to RT your comments won’t put you on my unfollow list, simply because these are par for the course on Twitter.

But if you’re indulging in one of these five horrifying Twitter behaviours, it won’t just be me reaching for the unfollow button.

1) You’re constantly fighting in the streets

Some people liken Twitter to a pub. Others think it’s more like a dinner party. Everyone agrees that it’d be a better place if we were all a bit nicer.

So if you’re the person who’s trading barbs and insults on your favourite antisocial network, make sure you aren’t doing it in front of everyone. A robust debate is fine. A sweary tirade through the direct message system will at least fly under the radar.

.@ryu You dishonour me by mocking my hadouken, you bully!

Using snide little tricks like punctuation before the all important @ so that everyone can see that you’re having an argument just makes you look like a plank. We won’t think you’re some crusader against the dark underbelly of the Twitterverse.

We will think you’re a fool who deserves to be unfollowed.

2) You insist on retweet recursion

Everyone likes getting a retweet. Having your great blog post on Twitter etiquette gives you a lovely, warm, fuzzy feeling inside.

Which is the exact opposite of the feeling everyone else gets when you RT your RTs.

It’s one thing to relentlessly push your own posts, but by jumping up and down and making a scene every time someone admits to reading your posts isn’t going to win you any friends. It’ll make you look a bit sad, a bit desperate, and a bit like a candidate for my next following cull.

And woe betide any one who RTs a #FollowFriday recommendation…

3) You’re a hashtag horrorshow

Using hashtags is easy. You drop one or two in to give context to your tweet, or to link it to an ongoing debate.

#you #do #not #hashtag #every #single #word #you #tweet #Iheart1D #because #you’ll #sound #like #a #fool.

I don’t think I need to say any more about that, do I?

4) You’re filling my DM inbox with spam

This is something that marketing people need to learn. Because nobody appreciates this, everyone hates it, and yet it still happens.

Also, your avatar looks daft. Change it.

If I follow you, please do not send an automatic response with a link to some product or service that you’re hawking. It makes you sound desperate, it’s intrusive, and it makes me question your authority straight away.

Because most people I follow on Twitter pass on information for information’s sake. And that generates trust. Trust makes me more willing to work with them in future. Or pay them for some of that expertise they’ve demonstrated.

When your first interaction with me is to make a cack-handed sales pitch, I don’t think “Wow, here’s an expert.” I think “Oh, here’s a salesman.” Then I hit unfollow.

5) You’re just plain boring

It might sound obvious, but being boring is a one-way trip to Unfollowsville, population: You.

So at least try and fake having a personality.

 

If you steer clear of these five pitfalls, we’ll have a long and fruitful Twitter relationship, you and I. But I’d like you to return the favour. What behaviour has you diving for the unfollow button? Share your thoughts in the comments section, or on Twitter or Facebook.

 

 

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