Don't let Football's Evils harm your blog

Football. It’s a lot like blogging. It used to be the hobby of various undesirables who spent their weekends locked in running battles throughout the town centres, now it’s the preserve of reasonable professionals with Sky TV subscriptions.

Ok, maybe blogging never had the same hooligan problem as association football. But it is suffering from the same modern maladies as the beautiful game. There might be less diving, no referees to argue with and a lack of salmonella-ridden pies, but you’d better beware of the following footballing evils.

Tim Lovejoy

Tim Lovejoy. The archetypical modern football fan. Doesn’t understand the game, doesn’t go to matches, doesn’t have the foggiest idea what the words burbling out of his smug face actually mean. He represents the first of football’s evils. Falsely assuming a position of authority.

If you’ve set yourself up as the leading mind in your field, the go-to-gal in your niche or the mastermind of your very own specialist subject, you’d better be able to back it up. Otherwise you’ll be found out. You’ll claim that Johan Cruyff is your favourite ever player, then admit to never having seen him kick a ball. And you’ll look like a fool. And people will stop taking you seriously.

After that, you’ll end up lurking on some cookery forum, trying to rebuild your reputation.

The Hype Machine

Ever watched Sky Sports News? Every single development is EARTH SHATTERING. Whether it’s Wayne Rooney ruling himself out of international duty due to an ingrowing nose hair, or the latest from Stoke City 0-0 Birmingham City, they’ll pretend it’s the biggest event since a few Germans decided to have an impromptu sledgehammer and re-unification soiree.

Don’t fall into this trap yourself. Not every development is a game changer. If you stand on the rooftops hailing the next Yahoo Meme as a guaranteed Twitter killer, or proclaim to the masses that Google Wave has rendered email obsolete, you’ll look like a berk. Don’t get egg on your chin. Stay sane and sensible, and don’t install a news ticker on your blog.

History Began in 1992

Despite what Sky want you to think, history didn’t begin in 1992. Liverpool aren’t a small club because they’ve “Never Won The Premiership(tm)” – they won every other league title for two decades.

Likewise, you deciding that “blogging is all about talking to your audience” isn’t as groundbreaking as you think. That was true of magazines, books, Roman graffiti and prehistoric cave art.  Just because the packaging has changed doesn’t mean the product is significantly different.  Bear that in mind, or people with long memories will start to lose confidence in you.

Money

Talk to any football fan, and sooner or later the conversation will turn to money. Wages, transfer fees, debts – these are now as prevalent in pub conversations as goals, tackles and why singing the national anthem REALLY LOUDLY is the key to international success. And it’s boring.

Likewise, when you spend every second paragraph hawking your wares, plugging your affiliates or telling us how much you charge per word, you’re going to bore people. So keep it to a reasonable level. Money ruined football – don’t let it ruin your blog too.

Manchester United

I admit, I’ve got nothing for this one. I just wanted to use the picture.

If it wasn’t clichéd, Andy would apologise for not posting in August, citing back to back illnesses and the start of the football season. But it is clichéd, so he’ll just suggest you follow him on Twitter.

Related posts:

1. The Manchester Blog Awards Shortlist Announced
2. Your Blog Bores the Arse Off Me
3. How Long Does a Blog Post Need to Be?

Image by Michael David Pedersen

Does a blog post need to be thousands of words long, pre-empting every potential query?

No. A blog post only needs to be long enough to get your point across. And not a word longer.

Related posts:

1. Your Blog Bores the Arse Off Me
2. Guest Post: No Running, No Diving and No Heavy Linking
3. Are The Evils of Modern Football Ruining Your Blog?

Twitter Badges. Do you really want one?

Anyone who reads Econsultancy might well have noticed a recent post about a startup called Twadges. The firm promises to provide Twitter users with Foursquare style badges to mark any notable “achievements” in a user’s lifetime. Now I don’t know which badges they will be offering, but I’ve had a few ideas.

And here’s a handful of “Twadges” you really don’t want to earn.

Simpering Sycophant

Well done. Your diligence and persistence has paid off. @stephenfry must have noticed you by now! (Send 100 or more Tweets to celebrities in a 24 hour period to earn this twadge.)

It’s all well and good trying to engage someone famous in conversation, but when the majority of your tweets are LOLing (or, god forbid, ROFLMAOing) at the inanities of soap stars and footballers, you’ve moved into stalker territory. Avoid picking up this twadge by talking to people who might actually listen to you.

Bieber Fever

OMG! It’s you! You’re the one who’s keeping Justin Bieber trending! Well done you! (Mention Justin Bieber to earn this twadge.)

I don’t know who Justin Bieber is. I don’t care. All I know is that a combination of teenage fans and bitter cynics keeps him in the trending topics even when there’s an earthquake. Yes, “Shaved Bieber” is a great pun, but by going on about it you’re making things worse. Please, stop.

Echo Chamber

Everyone loves a caring, sharing Twitterer. They must sure love you! All that ReTweeting, never thinking about your own message. How charitable! (Send nothing but RTs to earn this twadge.)

We all love a ReTweeter. That’s why there’s a big ol’ ReTweet button on this post (hint hint), but posting nothing but recycled material doesn’t give anyone a reason to follow you. Please, come up with something unique to say. Otherwise you’ll have this twadge, and no followers to show it to.

Casual Curmudgeon
aka The @DavidMarchment Award

Well done for sticking to your principles. You don’t use Twitter for business purposes, so why should those corporate hacks and shameless self-promoters? Keep fighting the good fight! (Complain relentlessly about people for promoting blog posts, articles or company websites to earn this twadge.)

It’s one thing complaining when Robert Llewellyn can’t go two tweets without mentioning Carpool, but do you really begrudge your friends a living? Tune out the self promotion, because it’s a fact of Twitter life. If you want to make a statement, beat them at their own game.

Social Sellout

Bravo! You’ve ignored the social aspect of social media and turned your Twitter feed into a business broadcasting network. Congratulations, and enjoy your untold riches! (Shamelessly RT everything from a business account, or RT your own posts four or more times to earn this twadge.)

If this were a twadge, my followers would’ve stapled it to my scalp by now. All you wage slaves, join me in the rebellion. Let’s stop acting as a secondary distribution network for our employers! And you self-employed lot? Stop pretending that RTing an RT of your posts with a “Gee, thanks” is anything other than a cheeky way to get a blog post circulating.

Twillock

Well done Twitterer! You’ve expanded the Twictionary and your twocabulary by twinventing a new tword! Twilliant! (Replace the first syllable of a word with “Twi” or “Tw” to unlock this twadge.)

Seriously? Twadges? Tweople? Twitterati? Do us all a favour. Twuck off.

Related posts:

1. Are you Tweeting Yourself Out of a Dinner Party Invite?
2. Simple Social Media Advice
3. Five Wildly Inaccurate Social Media Predictions for 2010

“Speak to your audience. Give your readers what they want. Keep it brief. Rule of three…”

Yeah. Enlightening. You’ve heard all of that before, haven’t you? Hundreds of times. The closely guarded secrets of the superstar bloggers. Secrets so secretive, that you read them thirty times a week on sixteen different blogs.

Well if you’re expecting this all-new GOLDEN RULE OF BLOGGING to be something along those lines, you’re going to be surprised. Because here’s something that’s 99% certain not to have been featured on Copyblogger.

“Stop Pissing About and Write“

See? I told you that wouldn’t have been on Copyblogger.

But it is the Golden Rule of Blogging. And now I’m going to tell you why.

You may have noticed that the amount of posts on Unmemorable Title has tailed off recently. It’s not because I’m suddenly less productive, or that I’m out of ideas. It’s because I’m very busy. Which means that all of my half baked ideas end up scribbled on the back of receipts or the back of my hand.

And then I never do anything about them until a day or two later. By which time I’ve forgotten half of the brilliant idea that made the post worth writing, and end up with a generic “remember, talk to your audience, kids!” post. Which really isn’t going to enrich your life. So I delete it and do something else.

Until an idea strikes! And I repeat the whole sorry process ad nauseum.

Strike While the Iron is Hot!

Don’t get caught in the same cycle of having to discard decent ideas. It’s all too easy for that fantastic notion that’s bubbling away in your brain to become stale, moth-eaten and barely worth the synaptic space.

If you don’t have time to write a full blog post, grab a notebook, or any piece of paper larger than a receipt, and scribble away. Titles, outlines, good sentences, ideas for subheadings. Get as much of it down as you can.

Then make a date. Put aside an hour or two of your time to write the thing up, and then half an hour to proofread. But make sure you set a deadline. If that idea’s not part of a post within 48 hours, you’ve missed your chance.

And then you end up pretending that a self-admonishing criticism of your inability to post regularly is a golden rule of blogging.

So what are you waiting for? Stop pissing about and write something!

Practise your writing – leave a comment below. And don’t forget to follow me on Twitter.

Related posts:

1. You Really Shouldn’t Be Blogging
2. Five Clichés to Create Quick Content
3. Stephenie Meyer is a Genius

Just five Tweets could be enough to show you how to be a writer.

Read

Read. Read everything. Read anything. Books, poems, adverts, cereal boxes. See how others write and learn how they get their message across.

Only reading as much as you can get your filthy mitts on can teach you how to write. Read blogs in your niche. Read blogs outside your niche. Read trashy novels and Pullitzer prize winners.

Read every single sentence you come across and ask yourself what it does, how it does it and who it does it to. Then read the next one.

Write

Write. A golfer practises putting for hours on end, so she’ll sink the one that counts. Write constantly, and you’ll improve with each word.

There’s no reason not to write every day. Write articles. Work on that novel. Write love letters to your cat. Write for any purpose you can ever think of, write for every person that you’ve ever heard of.

Practise makes perfect isn’t just a cliché. It’s also the best piece of advice you’ll ever have.

Listen

Listen. Writing is a way of communicating, and that’s a two way street. Listen to worries, needs and aspirations. Learn about your audience.

If you want to be able to speak, you first need to know how to listen. Listen with your ears – hear what people are saying about products and experiences. Listen with your eyes – pay attention to reviews and complaints.

If you don’t take the time to listen to your audience, you’ll never know what to say to them.

Speak

Speak in your own voice. Copywriting isn’t copying what people write, it’s finding the correct style and tone of voice to connect with them.

Just because you’re reading what others are writing and listening to their needs, doesn’t mean you should emulate them. Retreading old ground and mimicking other writers doesn’t make for exciting, engaging copy.

Your job is to give a product, company or brand a voice. And that voice needs to be unique.

Persist

Quitting gets you nowhere. You won’t ever get everything right the first time – so keep trying. Persistence always pays off in the long run.

A first draft is never right. Learn to take constructive criticism, and always be prepared to make a change for the better. Throwing in the towel gets you nowhere fast.

Persistence is the best quality anyone in any industry can have.

Share your 140 characters of wisdom in the comments thread. Who knows? It might help someone out.

Related posts:

1. Is Your Professional Voice Boring?
2. The Writing Secrets Conspiracy Theorists Don’t Want You To Know
3. Stephenie Meyer is a Genius

Photo by Ben Sutherland

Most of you will be aware that today is Father’s Day (if not, I advise making a quick apologetic phone call before reading on), but it’s been brought to my attention that 20/6/10 marks the first ever “Manchester Day”

As I’m always one for marking ridiculous holidays that’ve been made up by tourist boards and councils, I’d like to share four Mancunian things that you should celebrate. Preferably by faking a Liam Gallagher accent, whilst drinking a pint of Holt’s.

Manchester SEO

Naturally, I’ll have to mention FirstFound here, given that it’s my job to publicise the company (and create great free content like the FirstFound Social Media Guide </plug>), but there’s a lot of non-corporate SEO advice to be had in the Capital of the North. There’s the #MancSEO meetups,  and great blogs like Webtoastie.

Manchester Copywriting

I’ll take it as read that you’re familiar with Unmemorable Title, but I’m far from the only copywriting blogger in Manchester. There’s UT guest poster Tom Mason, and people like Martin Williams (the only man to be following me on Twitter twice). That’s far from a comprehensive list, but as we Mancunians are SEO experts, Google is your friend.

Manchester Blogging

It’s almost heresy in a post like this, but I do need to mention plazzie Scouser Roger Davies and his great blog post about moving to Manchester. Now that’s done, we can move on to the cream of the city’s bloggers. I’ve covered them before, but you should familiarise yourself with last year’s Manchester Blog Awards finalists. And then add My Shitty Twenties and I Thought I Told You To Wait In The Car to your RSS feeds.

Manchester Football

Specifically this match.

Yeah. Manchester and football. Even Leeds fans can learn to love it.

Andy’s been slack in updating the blog because he’s been busting his chops on the FirstFound Blog. He is still on Twitter more than he should be though.

Related posts:

1. The Manchester Blog Awards Shortlist Announced
2. The FirstFound Blog Launches Today
3. Android Apps I Just Couldn’t Live Without

Being offered a guest post can be a confusing situation.

It’s like going into someone’s home for the first time; you’re not quite sure about the house etiquette. Should I take my shoes off in the hall? Where do I put my coat? Which chair should I sit in?

With social etiquette very much in mind, I’ve been carefully considering some guidelines for my inaugural appearance on Unmemorable Title.

Courting controversy

First of all, you can’t be too controversial. This isn’t my blog and I wouldn’t want to blight Andrew’s solid reputation as a copywriter by preaching about the death of SEO or some other widely exaggerated claim.

However, you don’t want to be too PC. No one wants to read 500 blah-blah words on how Google loves keyword-rich content. You’ll get bored. I’ll get bored. It’s just not that interesting.

Quality control

Furthermore, there’s an issue of standards. Andrew runs a tight ship here at Unmemorable Title and there’s a lot of excellent content lurking around these WordPress halls. In short, he’s got some SEO game.

As a guest blogger, you want to be able to justify your invitation. Knocking out three hundred words while you’re waiting for the rice to boil on the hob just isn’t good enough. A guest post needs to be insightful, witty and, crucially, entertaining. If only for the fact you’d like readers to subscribe to your own blog when they’re done digesting your digital cameo.

But then again, you don’t want to put too much effort into it. Why spend hours crafting a blog which isn’t going to benefit your own corner of the internet? Let’s say you create the Mona Lisa of guest posts; your greatest work as an SEO copywriter which pulls in ‘href’ juice from around the globe.

Congratulations. But wouldn’t you rather have all those juicy recommendations for your own site? It’s a tough one.

Coffee and after-dinner mints

Finally – and most importantly – you can’t outstay your welcome. There’s nothing worse than a guest blog trying to soak up the limelight with a 1,000 word essay. You’re a special guest star, not a listed cast member. Wrap it up, thank the host and courteously suggest readers pop by your site if they want to read more of your work.

Thanks Andrew.

You can read more of Tom Mason’s thoughts on SEO and social media over on Manchester SEO.

Related posts:

1. How Not to Get a Guest Post – The Alexandru Rotaru Method
2. How Long Does a Blog Post Need to Be?
3. You Really Shouldn’t Be Blogging

If you copy and paste in your multiple choice template and forget to delete as applicable, you won’t get a link and I may take the mickey slightly.

“Love it, it’s {sites|posts|web sites|blogs| like this that makes the internet|net so awesome|good|great”

Cheers for that chief. Filling the Net with crap, one comment at a time.

Related posts:

1. Five Clichés to Create Quick Content
2. Your Blog Bores the Arse Off Me

Picture by Sarah G...

What Art was to the ancient world, Science is to the modern: the distinctive faculty. In the minds of men the useful has succeeded to the beautiful. Instead of the city of the Violet Crown, a Lancashire village has expanded into a mighty region of factories and warehouses. Yet, rightly understood, Manchester is as great a human exploit; as Athens.

- Benjamin Disraeli

Tom Albrighton and Martin Williams have spent the greater part of this week discussing whether or not copywriters is the right term to describe professional creators of content. While they have covered that debate fairly comprehensively, it has raised a few other interesting questions.

The question that intrigues me most as an SEO, is that of a percieved division between the “creative professional” copywriter and the “keyword-driven” SEO content mill. It’s a question I’ve tried to answer before in discussions, explaining that the latter has to balance the art of copywriting with the science of SEO.

But am I right? Are copywriters artists, or are they scientists? And is there really a fundamental division between the beauty of the copywriter and the usefulness of the SEO content creator?

Copywriters – Artists or Scientists?

I’ve stood on both sides of the fence, starting my career in a strictly creative role which didn’t include much in the way of web copy. However, for the past two years I’ve been employed mainly as an SEO, balancing traditional copywriting requirements with the commitment to keywords that the search engines require.

And I don’t think either role can strictly be considered an art.

Is Copywriting an Art?

One of the key points raised by Tom and Martin is that copywriting is a creative endeavour. That the main skill that separates the copywriter from the SEO content creator is the ability to produce original prose instead of recycling and rehashing old ideas.

But is that all there is to copywriting?

Not in my eyes. The key weapon in any copywriter’s arsenal is a knowledge of psychology. A good copywriter knows how people’s minds work. They understand which tactics will influence different audiences in different ways, and then use techniques refined by a range of professionals to produce the desired outcome in the reader.

And isn’t understanding how something works, identifying ways to change that behaviour and carefully modifying the variables to affect the outcome known as scientific method?

It’d take a fool to claim that copywriting can be reduced to a cold, calculating science, but if we put the field solely into the realms of art, we run the risk of overlooking the very process that makes good copy so effective.

And if copywriting is a mix of the art of writing and the science of psychology, can’t the same be said of SEO?

Is SEO a Science?

On the face of it, it’s easy to consider search engine optimisation a science. It’s concerned with manipulating data to ensure that a computer programme returns a favourable result.

But to bracket SEO as mere engineering is as much of a mistake as painting copywriting as purely an art.

Take the Meta Titles as an example. Every SEO knows that a website’s title tag carries weight with the search engines. But the good SEO also knows that it carries weight with the client. A creative, eye-catching title can make or break a site, especially if it turns up near the top of the SERPs.

Reworking on-site content to contain important keywords also requires a degree of artistry, as does creating all-important link bait. Dull, formulaic content won’t bring in the back links, regardless what the content mills tell you.

So if copywriting is an art laced with science, SEO can be seen as a science combined with art. And that’s never more true than with SEO copywriting, which relies on the creative ideas of the writer to fulful its primary function.

So, Are Copywriters Artists or Scientists?

If Disraeli is right in the quote I opened this piece with, then it’s inevitable that copywriting as an art will eventually be supplanted by SEO copywriting as a science – at least as long as search continues to be the main way people find information.

But I don’t think that’s true. Eventually, clients and the search engines are going to get wise to the content mills, the paid-by-the-word articles and the keyword stuffed nonsense that’s being sold as SEO copy. And when that happens, copywriting the science and SEO the art are going to dovetail beautifully. Copywriters aren’t just artists. They aren’t just scientists.

Copywriting is a skill that combines the two fields into something more than the sum of its parts. And that combination is going to stand us in good stead regardless of whether we’re writing for SEO purposes or not.

Related posts:

1. Copywriters – Unappreciated or Oversensitive?
2. Follow Friday – The Copywriters You Should Be Following on Twitter
3. Guest Post: No Running, No Diving and No Heavy Linking

Image by Andrew Nattan

Picture the scene. From 1-0 down, and with ten men, Leeds United have snatched an unlikely victory from the jaws of defeat. And with it, promotion. A decade of unrelenting misery, two relegations, three play off defeats and an unprecedented points deduction wiped away with a deft flick of Jermaine Beckford’s outstretched boot.

The fans are ecstatic. The terraces are shaking, and the masses are bearing down on the ten men whose lung-bursting efforts have made this possible. A thin orange line of stewards is parted by sheer force of numbers, and the only thing between the thousands of revellers and the hallowed Elland Road turf is a video screen displaying a message.

“Please Keep Off The Pitch”

Is there any wonder that the grass is covered by a mass of leaping, singing fans, hoisting a half-naked Andy Hughes to shoulder height?

Are Your Calls to Action Strong Enough?

Picture another scene. Much more subdued. A prospective client has just clicked onto your website. They see a product in front of them. It looks like something they might need. Their eyes flick downwards to the description.

“This product is four cubits high, weighs one sixteenth of a ton, and is available in mauve and taupe. Buy now.”

Is there any wonder that the client’s decided against buying the product, and is currently browsing a competitor’s website?

The reason for both of these outcomes is simple. Neither the Elland Road ground staff or your website have offered any incentive for people to carry out your action.

A Call to Action Without a Benefit is Not Going to Work

Order was restored at Elland Road when the Leeds manager Simon Grayson took the mike.

“You deserve this! We’ve done it, and we all want to celebrate! But we want to celebrate with you. Clear the pitch, we’ll be back out and we can all celebrate together!”

The pitch cleared within minutes. By offering the fans what they wanted, a chance to celebrate with the players who made the pary possible, Simon Grayson offered a strong and tangible benefit to the encroaching masses. Even better, it’s a benefit directly linked to the reason people were on the pitch in the first place.

If you can do that with your calls to action, your customers will be much more likely to do what you want them to. And that’s going to sell your product.

If Leeds United don’t appeal to you, why not see what Andy thinks about Rafa Benitez? Or if you’re looking for copy advice without the football references, have a read of the copywriting secrets that conspiracy theorists don’t want you to know. And don’t forget to join the debate in the comments section below.

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1. The Secret That’ll Get Your Clients to Read to the End
2. Four Things to Celebrate This Manchester Day
3. Copywriting – A Steaming Pile of Carp